Pastor's Circle - Jeffrey Klick

Jeffrey Klick, pastor of Hope Family Fellowship, talked to us today about disciplining children.


I'd love for you to tell what some of the world's child training philosophies are.

The world, of course, isn't talking about the cosmos or physical world; it's talking ab out the mentality out there.

In the olden days, you had more of a father's firm hand.

Children were expected to behave in a certain way.

When Doctor Spock came on the scene...he was more of a we shouldn't damage our children because of our approach.

There's this inverse philosophy that's not in the scripture.

The child now has the authority to make all of the choices. And the parents are just supposed to help and come alongside.

Some people will suggest that if you discipline to quickly, you're squashing your child's potential.

The Bible is  very clear about the philosophy of the parents.

A child's personality can't develop when he runs the family. That's chaos.

You're not suppressing anything; you're enhancing it.

When did this change happen? Was it Dr. Spock? Was it the baby boom generation? And why did the change come about?

I believe a lot of it did happen in the 60's and 70's...where Dr. Spock and that mindset came in where we know more than scripture and we know more than the Lord.

I believe it came about because we have an enemy who hates us.

We don't war against flesh and blood, but against the powers and principalities.

The "why" is that we have an enemy who hates the family and wants to destroy them.

There's been a general philosophical bent away from scripture for a while now.

Have you noticed how few pastoral families have their act together in disciplining their children?

Scripture is very clear about qualifications for families.

We've just quit following the biblical teaching there.

One of the things you say is that the primary battle is a battle of wills.

In any situation, especially with our children, it comes down to a battle of wills.

Don't touch this. Don't eat that. Turn the computer off.

It's that way in our relationship with God.

The family is where we learn how we're going to respond to authority for the rest of our lives.

I like to say submission is a wonderful concept, but it's hard to live out.

When I as a parent instruct my child to do something, and my child decides she's not going to do it, we've come to a battle of wills.

When the (child) wins we have anarchy.

When does the battle of wills start for a young child?

I think parents need to start listening and discerning in their children when this battle of wills is starting.

That will vary from child to child. It's in all of our hearts. Obviously, it started in the garden. Every child comes equipped with a rebellious attitude.